new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
