Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
