my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
