thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
