idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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