Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
