Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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