Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
