My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
