The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
