Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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