so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
