he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
