Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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