jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
