I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm too high and old for this...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
