we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
