.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
