Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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