Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
