That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
