We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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