The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
