I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
