Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My underwear smells like fireworks.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
