some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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