his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
