Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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