so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
