We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
