I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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