tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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