i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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