Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
