You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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