I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
