i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
