Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
