she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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