At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
