I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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