So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
