I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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