did you get engaged???
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
