i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
