Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
