yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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