I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
