I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
