Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
