it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
